8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
