I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
