i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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