no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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