Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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