Pants 0. Shit 1.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
