I just pynch a tree in the face
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
