kristin has been a bad kristin
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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