When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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