I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
