I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Randomize
