jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
