I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
