Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
North Korea, Best Korea!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
