I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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