If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
only you would photoshop your dick
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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