You really coming over, don't trick.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she told me i tasted like america
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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