are you still at the devil's house?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
