I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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