i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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