So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
