What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
