i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
