Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
