they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
