you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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