Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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