So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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