i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
