also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize