just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
