Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
