He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
