i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
