the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
