And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
