what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
