K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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