Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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