Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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