this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
