YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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