apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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