Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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