I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
