Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
They took my balls.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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