You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
