Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Farmville is her only friend.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize