Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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