it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
