So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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