hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
