margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize