one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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