its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
is wine microwaveable?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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