at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
