I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
