This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When did angry sex become our thing?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
