I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
