It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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