Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We were destined to go to rehab together
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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