all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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