He is such a slut. More and more my type.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Less talking, more tequila
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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