I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize