Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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