I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
