She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize