her vagine was all disorganized.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize