Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
